Post by iamthescene on Jan 25, 2006 12:58:25 GMT
iamthescene has totally returned to kick the dust out of your eyeballs as they peer towards the remote island of good music in the midst of the turgid green sea of scene, riding on your ship of ignorance manned by a sweaty crew of scenesters. It's been a full three of four cycles of nightshift since iamthescene regailed you bitches with scene knowledge, but praise the scene, I'm back.
Much has happened to the scene in my absense, iamthescene will thus sum up recent events for the masses:
1. zodiac, home of the scene, is to be overtaken by Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. In a press statement, which was attended by numerous other Decepticons, Megatron asserted that local bands would still be the number one factor in the scene. To prove this the Decepticons are holding a scene party at the zodiac next week, headlined by Dr. Snaggleberry, who changed their name from Hedroom to avoid speculation of molestation by the singer of Jesse James of some/all the band members and their mums.
2. Local top local favourite rockers Young Knives are getting their own TV show - titled Fun House of Lords, it will be hosted by Pat Sharp and feature children between the ages of 10-14 clambering over prostrate members of Young Knives, with the object being to cause as much bodily injury as possible before time runs out and the band attempts to sing a song, at which point the kids, directed by Sharp, throw donuts at the two singers to put them off. Prizes include a tour round the Nightshift offices by Frei Zinger and some of that guy from Junkie Brush's beard clippings.
3. It turns out that twat with the pony tail from brookes who puts on gigs at the Pub Oxford and says "don" a lot is actually the re-incarnation of Hitler. Sources indicate he intends to rid the scene of all acoustic singer-songwriters apart from himself, then infect the whole of Oxford with a giant brain tumor by singing a song that sounds like Tom Waits being burgled in the butt by Jack Johnson's surfboard through his own custom made P.A. made out of papier-mache'd Open View gig listings.
4. Lastly, iamthescene would like to remind everybody to keep it scene by visiting the nightshift messageboard at least twice an hour to check on whether your band is liked or disliked by such noted regulars as "Rex Diablo" and "Joe Sexy Breakfast". it's rumoured that these scene stalwarts have revolutionary new scene implants in their anuses which allows them to pick up on microscopic scene news which would otherwise be missed. iamthescene salutes them, and their ass-radars.
that is all for now - remember, the scene is like sucking a werther's original you found in the urinals at the wheatsheaf - warm, creamy and irresistably good.
iamthescene
Much has happened to the scene in my absense, iamthescene will thus sum up recent events for the masses:
1. zodiac, home of the scene, is to be overtaken by Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. In a press statement, which was attended by numerous other Decepticons, Megatron asserted that local bands would still be the number one factor in the scene. To prove this the Decepticons are holding a scene party at the zodiac next week, headlined by Dr. Snaggleberry, who changed their name from Hedroom to avoid speculation of molestation by the singer of Jesse James of some/all the band members and their mums.
2. Local top local favourite rockers Young Knives are getting their own TV show - titled Fun House of Lords, it will be hosted by Pat Sharp and feature children between the ages of 10-14 clambering over prostrate members of Young Knives, with the object being to cause as much bodily injury as possible before time runs out and the band attempts to sing a song, at which point the kids, directed by Sharp, throw donuts at the two singers to put them off. Prizes include a tour round the Nightshift offices by Frei Zinger and some of that guy from Junkie Brush's beard clippings.
3. It turns out that twat with the pony tail from brookes who puts on gigs at the Pub Oxford and says "don" a lot is actually the re-incarnation of Hitler. Sources indicate he intends to rid the scene of all acoustic singer-songwriters apart from himself, then infect the whole of Oxford with a giant brain tumor by singing a song that sounds like Tom Waits being burgled in the butt by Jack Johnson's surfboard through his own custom made P.A. made out of papier-mache'd Open View gig listings.
4. Lastly, iamthescene would like to remind everybody to keep it scene by visiting the nightshift messageboard at least twice an hour to check on whether your band is liked or disliked by such noted regulars as "Rex Diablo" and "Joe Sexy Breakfast". it's rumoured that these scene stalwarts have revolutionary new scene implants in their anuses which allows them to pick up on microscopic scene news which would otherwise be missed. iamthescene salutes them, and their ass-radars.
that is all for now - remember, the scene is like sucking a werther's original you found in the urinals at the wheatsheaf - warm, creamy and irresistably good.
iamthescene